TRASHFUTURE

Bullshit Jobs for Bullshit Industries (ft. Hussein Kesvani)

The garbagemen (@raaleh, @milo_edwards, @cfppalmer) sit down with Hussein Kesvani (@HKesvani) to talk about Bullshit Jobs - people taking abuse on Twitter for Virgin Rail while Rome burns. We also talk about a compurerised denim jacket you have to charge before you wear, and try to parse an article about a new kind of search engine without a search functionality.

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ASSFUTURE

Riley (@raaleh) Milo (@milo_edwards) and Olga (@rocknrolga) sit down for what is probably the least coherent episode we've ever recorded. We talk about the Bodega, which is a stupid start up that invented a vending machine in order to spread poverty around the world, and about the Inspiration Trust's newest kid jail in Great Yarmouth, which requires you to shit in a bucket while making full eye contact with a teacher. Because of respect. STREET respect.

Surreal Estate (ft. Aidan Jones)

Aidan (@AJ_Taco) joins (@raaleh) Riley and Milo (@milo_edwards) to chat real estate in London, the world's Worst Thing. Aidan has a show and a blog called The Abersham Flat (http://theabershamflat.blogspot.co.uk/), detailing his experience living on the fringes of London housing, with an insane con man pretending to be his landlord. It's absolutely fucking wild.

It's one of the last Edinburgh episodes before we start recording again.

Billionaire Boss Baby Brain Genius (ft Alex Kealy)

Holy wow it's another Edinburgh episode. This week we sit down with returning guest Alex Kealy to discuss...

The SMALT. Perhaps the dumbest product yet for the biggest non problem yet.

And then, after the break we read choice selections from a book called Little Wins: The Huge Power of Thinking Like A Toddler, by Paul Lindley, the founder of Ella's Kitchen.

Like all the best business books, it reminds us the secret to entrepreneurial success is to be so wealthy and well connected before you even try that you're basically guaranteed to succeed even if you constantly trip up over your own dick.

Paul, please come on the show.

The Adam Smith Institute Is Very Regular And Not A Front For Aliens

So there was just too much dumb stuff going on, and we HAD to do a bonus ep with the boyos.

In reverse order:

Steven Seagal did a horrible thing with a horrible man we needed to explore. NEEDED to explore. Like I was gonna get pancreatitis if we didn't explore it.

Doctor Madsen Pirie of the Adam Smith Institute is also totally not an alien, and wants to teach the Tories how to reach millennial voters... by giving... tax cuts to the rich.

And legalising "cannabis spliffs."

We learn how to do mindset through brain breaking hostage negotiation tactics.

The Cutest Dang Cop In The World (ft. Emily Robinson and Olga Koch)

Riley (@raaleh) and Milo (@Milo_Edwards) sit down for another Edinburgh episode with Emily Robinson (@see_em_play) and Olga Koch (@rocknrolga) to talk about probably the stupidest invention yet and then hear a couple stories of socialist organising in the UK from Emily, who's an actual person who does things.

Olga is not #online so we catch her up on some stuff that's been happening in the last year. We also found a book on the Dangers of Communist Kurdistan and decide to read a selection. Alt-Right Dick Van Dyk makes an appearance.

Fair warning, 50% of us watched The Emoji Movie / recorded The Emoji Movie episode earlier that day, so we REALLY lose the plot toward the end and degenrate into madness. I think we forget English at some points.

TRASHCINEMA - The Emoji Movie (ft. Lulu Popplewell and Alex Kealy)

EDINBURGH EPISODE NUMBER TWO

No Charlie (@cfppalmer) this week, so Riley (@raaleh) and Milo (@milo_edwards) kidnapped our friends Alex Kealy (@alexkealy) and Lulu Popplewell (@lulu_popplewell) and rolled into the Edinburgh cinema at 11 AM one fine August morning and literally BROKE OUR CEREBELLUMS watching this gossamer web of dreams unfold into the body horror phantasmagoria that is...

THE EMOJI MOVIE.

The Emoji Movie is basically the tape from the ring, but the ghost girl comes out of the screen immediately and instead of killing you, she just lobotomises you. I've bought three timeshares since making this recording. Fuck you all for making me do this in theory.

You can check out Alex's show, the Art of the Keal, in Edinburgh at Just the Tonic at the caves, every day at 4:20 (nice). Lulu's show, Chumbags, every day at 5:45 in Southsider. You could probably sell them both reverse mortgages now.

TRASHPAST (ft. Pierre Novellie)

It's the first Edinburgh episode!

Pierre Novellie (@pierrenovellie) joins 2/3 of the garbagemen, Riley (@raaleh) and Milo (@milo_edwards) to talk about the past, which we hear is the new future, as time is a flat circle. We talk nostalgia, erotic illuminated manuscripts, and a problematic confederate monument to haemherroids. We also talk about some technological things, including dumb inventions and some more sinister inventions.

If you're in Edinburgh, and by some miracle tickets are still available, buy them early and often to Pierre Novellie, 9:45 PM every night at the Pleasance.

Tony the Tapeworm (A Sweet and Good Minisode With the "Boys")

MINI-SODE ALERT! FULL 'SODE NEXT WEEK!

The Garbagemen Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@milo_edwards), and Charlie (a digital hermit) sat down to discuss a lot of the funniest and best takes on the Hellscape of Late Stage Capitalism (tm), but the internet crapped out after a short period of time.

I suspect a fiendish plot to make me stop posting.

But we nonetheless managed to salvage a fun little snippet of our meeting of the minds - it may sound like we're doing racist caricatures of Italian American accents, but those are our real "no foolin" voices.

Eyyyyyy my real name-a-duccio is Broshoot Fugghedabowdit.

Like and subscribe on facebook, follow us on twitter @trashfuturepodcast, and other than that, grind yourself to dust under the boot heel of the Business Industry until we're back with in full effect next week.

It Integrates With Your Current Ass System!

The garbagemen are back and boy do we have a mass noun for ourselves.

Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@milo_edwards), and Charlie (who doesn't want to be disturbed #online) talk about more wifi connected bullshit, a butt plug that protects you from avalanches, the conspiracy in your IoT enabled smart home to have you killed, outsourcing caring for a dying relative, a celebration of microchipping day, and excitedly queuing up to get on Admiral Steven Seagal's boat.

We also demonstrate a special kind of "super brain yoga" that may help solve the healthcare crisis in the states or just give you sweaty palms. more like sweater PALMERS. lol.

Yet another of our "fabulous" remote episodes because Riley's in Canada because his dumb family wants to be all together or whatever. But fear not because he never. stopped. posting.